


For Better or Worse

by Kristen_APA



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Canon Era, F/M, Family Feels, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 03:37:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16548128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kristen_APA/pseuds/Kristen_APA
Summary: Anna and John’s wedding anniversaries over the years.





	For Better or Worse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fairytale_bliss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairytale_bliss/gifts).



> **A/N:** This was actually a really late birthday gift for fairytale_bliss back in 2016. I started off with just writing (in 2015 whoops) about their fifth anniversary but then I saw the prompt for imagining your OTP on their first, fifth, and tenth, and then expanded the outline. It was taking too long for me to finish, but given the theme, I thought I better get it done for #BannaApril 2016 too. My apologies for how disjointed this ended up being, though.
> 
> There are at least two Fridays in April that work for their wedding date when looking just at S2E8. I’ve picked the 18th for my headcanon, because of where the other dates fall in later series, the 18th became the best option.
> 
> **Disclaimer** : I don’t own _Downton Abbey._

**_April 17, 1920_ **

 She was spending her first wedding anniversary on someone else’s honeymoon.

That was not at all how she planned it, but neither was the alternative, of visiting her husband in prison, wrongfully convicted of a murder he did not commit.

Anna sighed, throwing herself into unpacking Lady Mary’s things in the room that her newly wedded ladyship and Mr Crawley were going to be sharing at Lady Rosamund’s. No, she wasn’t going to resent them over something that they had no control over. It wasn’t their fault that she and her husband only got one, beautiful, night before he was forced wrongfully away from her.

They were spending a few days here in the city, but she couldn’t think of anything that she’d like to do by herself to occupy her time other than work. Mr Crawley didn’t bring Mr Molesley with him, so it wasn’t as if she had a companion to distract her. Besides, she didn’t want to visit places that she’d rather go to with John – oh how almost foreign still it seems to call him that in her head. Perhaps because she didn’t get to call him that out loud. But he wanted her to go out and experience France once she got there, for both of them. But she wasn’t even wanting to go out on errands by herself in London.

The door opened and startled her. Lady Mary entered the room, grinning, still full of that new bride pride and glow.

“Almost done, m’lady,” Anna chimed, her voice more upbeat than she really was.

“Thank you.” Lady Mary paused. “What are your plans for tomorrow?”

“Just working, I’m afraid, m’lady.”

“Well, how about I give you the day off. You can make it back and forth to York in a day, surely.”

Anna brightened at this, but started to protest. “But I’d be gone most of the day, and you sure you can manage without me?”

"Gladly. I’m taking you away from Bates for a month, so it’s the least I can do. And I saw your long face as we stopped at York station on the way here, as if you’d rather be getting off there.”

Anna clasped her hands in front of her. “This very kind of your, m’lady. Tomorrow happens to be me and Mr Bates’ wedding anniversary ourselves.”

Lady Mary beamed at her good deed. “I thought it was soon. I’m so sorry about the circumstances.”

The blonde gave a small smile. “We’ll make due this year, and next year will be better, I’m sure of it.”

“And then you can make up for it,” her ladyship said with a twinkle in her eye.

Anna couldn’t contain the grin and the giggle Mary’s more racy comment gave her. “Well, hopefully he’ll be home a little sooner then next year.”

~

She always hated the rattle of the gate behind her, but at least this time it meant that she was closer to seeing him than sectioning him off from her.

He looked confused, sitting there at the bare table, but a broad smile broke out across his face upon seeing her.

She took the seat across from him, wanting so desperately to take his hand, wanting to intertwine her thin fingers with his long ones.

“I was so confused when they said I had a visitor. I thought maybe it was Mr Murray,” John said, his low voice, but not quite a whisper.

“Well, we have Lady Mary to thank for this. She gave me the day off before we head to France.” Anna smiled, placing her hands in her lap to avoid temptation, dreading the “no touching!” from the warden.

Her husband looked tired; but this wasn’t new. She knew that he wasn’t getting much sleep and she didn’t blame him.

“And how lucky that it is today.”

“Indeed. It’s been a year since I became Mrs Bates in every way.” They exchanged knowing smiles.

John sobered first. “I’m just sorry that it hasn’t been the year you dreamed of.”

She sighed. “Hopefully people will write while I’m gone. And then we can plan for the years to come.”

He smirked to hide his concern. “Do celebrate for both of us while you are there. Enjoy that French cuisine.”

“I’ll try my best.”

 ~

Anna had hesitated as she entered the store, but reassured herself that she had every right to be there, as a properly married woman. She took off her gloves anyway so that her wedding ring would be visible, light glinting off of the gold band.

The store was fully of things that normally would be hidden behind the counter at Selfridges. So many of the items seemed too frilly and not quite… her. But then she saw it. She ran her fingers along the lace of the band – just the right amount. A smile crept on her face. She could imagine wearing it… and she could imagine John taking it off. It would be great for their second anniversary, if not before then. No, definitely before then. Definitely.

* * *

**_April 17, 1924_ **

Anna flopped herself onto the settee. She closed her eyes as tiredness washed over her. She almost liked being this fatigued, it let her mind not wander elsewhere… but cleaning up Lady Edith’s room after the fire had almost taken too much out of her. Her thoughts though went back to the photograph she had found. She really only glanced at it for a moment, but it was a newer picture, of a baby girl she was certain was not Lady Edith herself. And given where she found it… and there had been that trip to Switzerland…

The wheels stopped turning for a second as she felt John’s weight shifting the sofa beside her.

“Your tea, my darling,” he said, handing her the cup.

She smiled at him, and took the teacup and saucer.

“I’m sorry about tomorrow still, I wish we could have gotten it off.”

“Well, at least Saturday is our half day and that’s only one day off from our real anniversary, so it’s not too bad. We’ve had worse.”

He half smiled, knowing fully well what she meant. He placed his arm around her, and gave her shoulder a squeeze.

She leaned until him, and sighed. “Really, I’m just happy to be here with you. It’s funny to think about how five years ago I was trying to pick out an outfit without Jane asking questions.”

“You were beautiful. As you are now.”

It was sometimes still hard to take complaints like that. Why should he still think she was now?

_Stop that_ , she told the intrusive thoughts.

But then her mind cycled back to Lady Edith. What if she had gotten pregnant? And had a secret daughter? And here Anna was, married five years and no children to show for it. There was only one time she had even though maybe she was, a few months after their return from the London trip for Lady Rose’s ball. But it just had seemed her monthly was late. She was glad she hadn’t gotten John’s hopes up yet, since she knew that he wanted a baby as badly as she did. She knew that had been reasons – the period of separation, the months after the attack before she could even allow herself to even think about being intimate again. And all this worrying though, must not be conductive to conceiving. But it all weighed on her mind all the same.

John, meanwhile, was having his own thoughts on the topic. He was starting to feel a little guilty about bringing up children so much lately. Seeing the Crawleys’ little ones just reminded him how much he wanted a family with Anna, and wanted her so badly to be the mother she deserved to be. He didn’t want to pressure her – he never wanted to – but he was worried now that it was adding onto her troubles.

Thus, he was determined to put her at ease on their fifth wedding anniversary. Just the other day was the 12th anniversary of when the met. Many things had changed since then, for better or worse.

Anna always was a worrier, but since that horrible night, it was clear that she struggled with anxiety more now. Her words from a year ago sometimes echoed in John’s ears. They couldn’t to back to how it was before, but they could go forward. And he wanted to make sure that they could still make good memories.

So when she called it an early night, he put his plan into motion.

~

When they woke up that morning, they sleepily pressed lips together, muttering happy anniversary, but otherwise it began like any other day. They were going to celebrate on Saturday anyway. But as Anna went to pin her hair up, she saw a piece of paper wedged in the frame of the mirror. Curious, she pulled it out and unfolded it. She recognized her husband’s handwriting. _“You look beautiful!”_ it said, scrawled in his hasty loops. She wasn’t so sure about that, but her heart went all a flutter that her husband had left her this little note.

She tried to ask him about it as they headed out the door, but he just shrugged and changed the subject. Later, as she went to do an errand for Lady Mary before luncheon, she found another one tucked into her coat pocket. Another sneaked its way into her sewing box, and a fourth came out of her napkin as she unfolded it at dinner. She glanced at John, but he was still looking coy. All the notes had compliments or messages of encouragement, and her heart was overwhelmed with love each time she found one. She tried to mask her own feelings at the table with the other servants there, but she felt just so lucky to have a husband who helped support her so much.

They went to get ready to leave for the night, and as Anna slipped her hand in her glove, she felt another folded piece of paper. She grinned, and opened it. _“I love you so, so much, with every beat of my heart.”_

She turned to face John. “As do I,” she said quietly. She stood on her tippy toes to give him a quick peck, and whispered, “thank you.”

* * *

**_April 18, 1929_ **

There had been a certain rhythm to life at Downton Abbey. Daily life for the most part had followed a pattern, with precise timings, bells chiming, and gongs sounding.

Life now though, had it’s own beat, that often went erratic, but that’s happened when you had four children all under the age of four.

Anna and John had decided to wait until William was six months old before resuming their hotel search, but it was really her falling pregnant again so quickly after their first child’s birth that prompted them to expedite their hunt. They had finally settled on a place, quite close to Downton, when Dr Ryder told them that it was very probable that Anna was carrying twins. She had to be put on bed rest in the final months, which she was not all that happy about, but then soon they welcomed their darling girls Margaret and Emma, so it was well worth it.

They were blessed again the following year with little Robbie, and it was his crying that awoke them that morning.

As Anna and John shuffled out of bed to attend to him, William, now three years old, flung open the door, his Winnie-the-Pooh bear being dragged behind him.

“Oh no darling, what’s the matter?” Anna bent down to his level, coaxing him with a pat on his shoulder.

He rubbed his eye with his free hand. “It’s morning.”

John chuckled. “Oh, your mummy doesn’t really like mornings either.”

She rolled her eyes, but then laughed. No, she did not get to sleep in until she woke up natural, but she wouldn’t trade that for what she had now.

The Bateses’ days rarely started off peaceful now, but it was exactly how they wanted it. They tended to the children, feeding them their breakfast and getting them dressed, before it was time to go over any hotel business. The main managers’ office had had two rooms in it, so they converted the one into being a little day nursery. It definitely made life easier to switch between work and family than in the first few months of William’s life, when they constantly found themselves upstairs at the abbey, checking in, with awe, at their miracle little boy.

~

Anna settled the children down for their afternoon nap and found her way back to the office, where John sat going over figures, his new pair of reading glasses perched on his nose. She smiled dreamily at him, at how handsome her husband still was, with gray peppering his sideburns.

She rounded the desk and then leaned against the drawers. “So how do things look, Mr Bates?”  
            “I think that they are looking fairly wonderful to be quite honest.” He set the paper work aside and took of his glasses. “As are you, Mrs Bates, I must say.” He placed his hands on her hips, bringing her closer to him. She grinned, and he drew her into his lap, balancing her on his good leg.

“I realize, I haven’t actually wished you a happy anniversary yet,” he murmured into her ear, then pressing a kiss to her temple.

“Well nor have I. But I plan to tonight,” she said airily, then shooting him a knowing look, eyes twinkling.

A grin broke out on his face, but then he turned somewhat somber. “Ten years. And so much has happened in that time.”

“I know,” she said, almost sighing, but then she brightened. “But look at us now, though.”

There had been so many horrible things that John couldn’t change, but they had made it through all of them and emerged somehow stronger. It filled his heart with joy when he watched how happy Anna was now, how she had blossomed as a mother and also a hotel entrepreneur. All of their days were now over-brimming with happiness, perhaps to make up for the earlier heartaches. One thing John knew for certain, was that she had changed his life, and if anyone had told him that that ride on the milk train to Downton would have brought him all this, he wouldn’t have believed them.

“I owe so much to you, darling.”

“As I do you.” She laced her fingers with his and gripped tightly. In sync, they leaned in together, their lips finding each other with practiced ease. A knock on the door broke them apart, and they both giggled, remembering that time, now many years ago, when they had first tried to kiss.

“Here’s to ten more,” he whispered as she squeezed his hand before scrambling up out of his lap.

“Certainly.”

**Author's Note:**

>  **A/N:** In the second part, I reference what I headcanon is what Anna considers later in S6E2 as what might have been a miscarriage (“Two, maybe three.”). I personally don’t try to fit in the retconning with the earlier timeline, but for both my sake and hers, I decided it was definitely only two, and thus also the earlier incident (of her just thinking maybe she was) can occur before her S5E7 dialogue. Again I try not to shoe horn in things, but I wanted to make it clear that it wasn’t a miscarriage there, at least in this fic, welp.
> 
> Well that note ended on a downer, whoops. Well, thank you for reading!


End file.
